So here's the run down on things post-LA/Nashville trip.
I loved every second of my trip home. I spent much needed time with Mark and family. I loved it so much, that they had to basically force me on the plane. Since I've been nack, I've been having a very difficult time. When I first made this commitment in January, I did it under the impression that Mark would join me after he graduated in August. This would leave my last three months here, with him. Well, I now know that if Mark came here, he could not obtain a work permit and therefore, would have nothing to do, when he could be at home working and saving for us. So he's not coming. Which means I'm here alone until December. This is not what I signed up for.
So i moved into the new place and wish i hadn't. I miss my old friends and the comfortable atmosphere. Here, I feel like I'm living in someone else's space. It's very weird. i tried to get my old room back, but it's filled. School is fine and I was happy to get back to learning some new stuff. Vancouver is rainy again.
So anyways, since I've been back, my anxiety is through the roof. I just want to be home. I want to be away from this place. I feel like, "ok, I've had my experience, It's been fun. But I'm done now". I have been here exactly 3 months tomorrow. And I have three months and 9 days left. Halfway. I have no intentions of quitting, I'd be too disappointed in myself. But there are definitely times when I don't feel capable of being here anymore.
I decided to look into plan tickets for an october visit. They're looking to be around $400. Well, considering I have no job, $400 may as well be 1 million. So I talked soe Korean boys into letting me tutor them 4 days a week for $60 per day. They were all excited about it...until i get the call today that they "changd their mind". JERKS!!! If I had that job I could have gone home for a visit! Now, I can't! Thanks alot, korean boys, for RUINING my dreams!
I don't know if any of this made sense, but I tried. So yeah. Send some love my way. I'm sad.